Addressing Perfectionism: Melbourne Psychologists on Overcoming the Inner Critic
The pursuit for perfectionism is a principle quietly endorsed in modern society. It’s often celebrated indirectly because of its link to high achievement and success. However, many of us tend to fall victim to the toll it takes on our mental health. Striving for flawlessness can lead to anxiety, depression, and a relentless inner critic that diminishes our quality of life. At Inner Eastern Psychology, we use therapeutic approaches to help uncover and address the underlying causes of perfectionism, empowering us to live with greater ease and self-acceptance.
Understanding perfectionism
For many, perfectionism goes beyond simply wanting to ‘do well’. It often includes setting unrealistically high standards for ourselves and linking our self-worth in achieving them. According to a study published in Procedia, negative perfectionism is strongly associated with mental health issues such as chronic stress, burnout, and even suicidal ideation. Perfectionism is a complex, multidimensional construct. It includes self-oriented perfectionism (holding high standards on ourselves), other-oriented perfectionism (expecting high standards on others), and socially prescribed perfectionism (feeling external pressure to be perfect).
At its core, the concept often stems from fears of failure, criticism, or rejection. These fears are typically based on early life experiences, cultural expectations, or fundamental personality qualities. Without support, it can create a relentless cycle of inadequacy and self-doubt that feels challenging to overcome.
The role of the inner critic
The inner critic is characterised as the internal dialogue that highlights our perceived flaws, downplays our accomplishments, and constantly questions our worth. For those of us who deal with perfectionism, this inner voice can become relentless , resulting in an excessive urge to prove ourselves. It is typical to hear phrases like "You're not good enough" or "If you don't succeed, you'll be a failure."
Over time, this kind of self-criticism can have adverse effects on our mental well-being. Studies have shown that chronic self-criticism activates the brain's threat system, increasing cortisol levels and making us more vulnerable to stress-related illnesses. Therapy can offer a space to challenge and reframe these internalised messages, allowing us to practice self-compassion and set healthier self-expectations.
How therapy can help
Perfectionism therapy focuses on recognising its underlying causes and providing solutions for its management. At Inner Eastern Psychology, our Melbourne Psychologists use a number of successful treatments personalised to each individual:
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT is a highly effective approach for addressing the psychological processes that shape the actions we take in life. This approach assists us in identifying and challenging the negative thought processes that fuel our perfectionism tendencies. By exploring the values / beliefs we hold most deeply, CBT help us identify how these can sometimes lead to unhelpful and automatic behaviours.
For example, if we are continuously thinking, “I must succeed at everything or I am worthless”, CBT provides skills and strategies to develop a more realistic and healthier thought process. These strategies can ease the mental tension, burnout and self-doubt that can accompany these thoughts.
Self-compassion training
Self-compassion entails treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, especially in the face of failure or adversity. Our Psychologists in Melbourne help individuals develop self-compassion practices like mindfulness and self-affirmations exercises.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT focuses on accepting the emotions and thoughts about our “shortcomings”, while committing to actions aligned with our values. This therapy helps us see thoughts and emotions as they are (without assuming that they are the truth), encourages us to observe our perfectionistic tendencies without judgment, allows us to defuse from the inner critic and prioritise what truly matters in our lives.
Schema therapy
Schema therapy looks at the underlying beliefs and emotional patterns that contribute to the unrelenting standards we set upon ourselves. It helps us recognise and work on unmet needs from the past while also fostering healthier ways of thinking and behaving in the present.
Breaking free from the perfectionism trap
Addressing perfectionism doesn't mean lowering our standards or giving up on success. Instead, it involves learning to set realistic goals, embrace our individuality, and cultivate self-acceptance. Here are some practical steps we can take:
Set balanced goals: Focus on progress rather than perfectionism. Break tasks into manageable steps and celebrate small victories along the way.
Challenge negative self-talk: Replace harsh criticisms with constructive and compassionate feedback.
Prioritise self-care: Engage in activities that promote relaxation and well-being, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies that are fun and bring you joy.
Seek support: Share our struggles with trusted friends, family, or a therapist who can provide encouragement and perspective.
Why therapy matters
Addressing perfectionism requires a personalised approach. It entails components that are specific to our own experiences and circumstances. Working with a therapist gives us the tools to navigate these deeply ingrained values / belief systems and create a more fulfilling life. At t Inner Eastern Psychology, our Melbourne Psychologists are skilled in creating a safe, supportive space to explore and overcome the barriers to self-compassion and personal growth.
Start your journey with Inner Eastern Psychology
At Inner Eastern Psychology, we are committed to helping and supporting our clients.. Whether through CBT, ACT, or other evidence-based approaches, our Melbourne Psychologists are here to guide you on your path to greater self-acceptance and healthier emotional well-being.
Take the first step, contact us today to find out which psychologists are suitable for you and meet your needs.