Exploring Separation Anxiety in Adults With Our Melbourne Psychologists

People may often think of separation anxiety as something that only affects children but adults can experience it too. Anxiety can affect anyone, especially when we're separated from those we care about. 

Whether it is a loved one leaving for work or travel, dropping the kids off at daycare for the first time, or moving to a new and unfamiliar city, all these situations can trigger anxiety.

Fortunately, there are ways to cope with this feeling as an adult.

In this article, we'll share insights from our Melbourne psychologists on why we might feel separation anxiety and offer some strategies to help manage the symptoms.

What is Defined as Separation Anxiety?

Anxiety can present itself in different ways and impact many aspects of our lives or specific situations.

Separation Anxiety involves intense fear, worry, or intrusive negative thoughts triggered by the separation from a loved one or caregiver. This can make everyday tasks quite challenging.

While commonly seen with toddlers and children, separation anxiety can also affect adults.

Signs of Separation Anxiety in Adults

According to Health Direct, signs of separation anxiety in adults can include the following:

  • Headaches

  • Stomach pain

  • Social anxiety

  • Intense and ongoing distress

  • Mild to severe disruption to work, school, social events, or everyday tasks

  • Separation avoidance (avoiding situations or experiences that trigger feelings of separation)

  • Panic attacks (these may manifest through rapid breathing, excessive sweating, and an increased heart rate)

Ways to Deal with Separation Anxiety in Adults

1. Identify What Triggers Us

The first step in addressing separation anxiety involves identifying triggers. We can then develop strategies to manage these symptoms.

For instance, if we experience a sense of dread, anxiety, and fear shortly after a loved one leaves our side:

We may find it helpful to take mental or physical notes to recognise patterns and observe when we’re not feeling anxious. After this, we can begin to redirect our focus from negative thoughts to more positive ones.

Our emotions can sometimes lead us to feel an irrational sense of fear and dread, but we can reframe these feelings into more realistic thoughts. It can be useful to reflect on whether these emotions stem from reason or from our emotions themselves. By doing this, we can better understand and manage situations that tend to trigger negative thought patterns.

Here is another example: If we recognise that a trigger for us is when a loved one leaves for work, one helpful intervention is to question the situation's rationale. They are leaving for work. This is not a personal offence and they are likely to return at the end of the workday.

This is the foundation of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), a widely used therapeutic approach psychologists use to treat anxiety. This approach acknowledges how our minds can sometimes misconstrue events or circumstances, which can often lead to an exaggerated reaction to the situation. By engaging in practical exercises that help us manage our reactions, CBT guides us towards developing more balanced and healthy responses to triggers. Practising these skills can build a sense of trust in positive outcomes over time.

2. Keep Busy

An effective strategy is to question the mind's tendency to catastrophise the situation. When we engage in activities that interrupt our mind’s automatic negative thoughts, this can offer calmness or distraction from our triggers.

This can include redirecting our focus from negative thoughts to enjoyable activities that require concentration, such as learning a new skill or focusing on an existing hobby. Physical activities like walking, yoga, and meditation can also help in shifting our focus. 

Anxiety affects each person uniquely, and participating in a support group can offer valuable insights into our own feelings from different perspectives. It allows us to observe, analyse, and confront our fears by hearing others describe similar experiences and emotions.

3. Seek Professional Help

Anxiety impacts everyone differently, but remember this feeling can be temporary. 

Seeking one of our Melbourne psychologists for support can make a significant difference. We have the experience in therapeutic approaches, treatments, and strategies to best address specific needs. We offer a range of therapeutic modalities such as CBT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Schema Therapy, and more, all designed to effectively support, manage, and overcome challenges.

Inner Eastern Psychology can provide support, guidance, and relief with our anxiety counselling services. Contact us today, and let us help you find a psychologist for support.

Kane Waters